Tag Archive for: life mapping

Resolutions, hooray! Oh crap! (Part 3.0)

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Welcome back to Part 3.0 Resolutions, hooray! Oh crap!

Seriously, don’t stop setting resolutions. Just change your expectations — At the outset I mentioned that I stopped making resolutions years ago. But, I really didn’t. Yes, I grew tired of failed resolutions. I grew tired of hearing the same resolutions year after year. But, the simple fact that I kept them front and center every year gradually laid the groundwork for ‘sudden’ success.

Another aspect of failed resolutions and successful ones are expectations. Most resolutions are made because it is the thing to do and are based on flawed expectations. Real resolutions are thought out and planned, not at the spur of the moment or based on other peoples’ resolutions and expectations.

Many expectations are flawed because they are based on the illusion of instant success smeared across the headlines, social media, tabloids, news, and more.

By revising my expectations and gradually changing my habits, I absolutely changed my mindset. I, too, have learned from failures which paved the way for success.

Remember —The road to success is riddled with potholes of failure. More often than we like to admit we hit big potholes which stop our momentum, change our direction and tease us with thoughts of a failed journey. These potholes in life’s journey test our fortitude, our strength and our resilience.

Know —We really don’t quit. On the contrary we simply revise our goals (resolutions), reset our expectations to eventually meet with success. The goal or resolution that we end up achieving may be altered or modified from its original form to meet our current needs and expectations at that particular point on our journey.

Believe — Success is always in our sights, but all too often we hit the potholes of failure, which temporarily reroute us and provide us with learning opportunities.

This year you can still make your usual resolutions, but make at least one that you will stick with for 66 days. Once that incites real change with the right mindset. Keep it in your sights, adjust it when you hit a pothole on your journey and focus on gradually getting better with each day, then suddenly you will realize you did not wait and you actually met with success.

Tomorrow be on the lookout for Resolutions, hooray! Oh crap! (Part 4.0) when we take a look at the how toEnsure You Meet with Success and Sooner!

Resolutions, hooray! Oh crap! (Part 2.0)

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Welcome back! In Part 2.0 Resolutions, hooray! Oh crap! we will take a look at Real Change and Right Mindset.

#2 Real Change, Right Mindset — Real change as Tony Robbins has mentioned happens when the pain of staying the same exceeds the pain to change. Allow me to elaborate, real change must also be done with the proper mindset for it to truly succeed. If our mindset is misaligned and change is made in the face of anger or resentment it may not be the real change we intended.

Think about when you were a kid or think about your own kids. We often resisted change coming from our parents or other adult figureheads. Even if we forged forward and made the change (because we had to) we made it with a mindset of resentment, maybe even anger. Once the change proved successful we still held onto anger and resentment until the realization hit us that the change we made was in fact for the better.

Even worse, have you ever experienced the scenario when someone was forced to make a change and they ended up doing more of that particular thing they were supposed to change Could it be that a mindset of resentment and rebellion results in a failure to make the change necessary or even worse doing more of it?

Creatures of Habit —Let’s face it, we are creatures of habit. We do the same things over and over again because it works, or appears to work. If our habits or rituals cause no harm and keep us safe, then why would we change?

Pay attention to your routine and how you respond or react to people. If things worked in the past and you remained safe why in the world would you change it? Even if the things we are doing are inherently bad, unhealthy, or negative we most likely continue to do them because they seem to work. No harm, no foul, so why change? Can you see now how our minds just might perceive change as a potential threat to our comfort and safety, ultimately leading to failed resolutions?

66 Days— Have you ever heard of the 21 day rule to break a habit? Well, I have more news for you. It takes 66 days to start a new habit! Meaning you have to give your resolutions time; gradually and then suddenly.

Tomorrow be on the lookout for Resolutions, hooray! Oh crap! (Part 3.0) when we take a look at changing our expectations; expectations of ourselves and expectations of others.

Resolutions, hooray! Oh crap! (Part 1.0)

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I am a little early, but Happy New Year! Did you make your resolutions? I have news for you. I haven’t made a New Year’s resolution in years! I never quite understood the practice especially upon hearing the usual culprits year after year; lose weight, start exercising, stop drinking, start eating healthier, stop smoking, and many more.

Over the next few days we will look at what we can do this year to manifest the real change we desire in our lives. Enjoy Part 1.0.

#1 Be realistic! — The aforementioned resolutions are very abrupt. To simply ‘stop’ or ‘start’ something is a huge shock and quite difficult to accomplish. Especially when we make resolutions to stop drinking after we just had a drink, to stop smoking after we just had a cigarette, or to start eating healthier after we just had a big piece of pie. 

Include a lack of planning and focus our New Year’s resolutions become even flightier and an easier target for failure leading to an “Oh crap!” moment.

Gradually and then suddenly — Do not fall for the illusion of instant, or overnight, success. Anyone who has ever met with success, or failure, experienced it gradually and then suddenly. (The Sun Also Rises, Hemingway 1926) (Fierce Conversations, Scott 2002)

Tomorrow be on the lookout for Resolutions, hooray! Oh crap! (Part 2.0) when we take a look at the Real Change and Right Mindset.

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